Yesterday

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Yesterday was a good day. Today is not.

It’s funny how this works, isn’t it? Nothing changed. Yet everything is different. Feels different, looks different, smells different. The rational mind tries to argue it away. But emotions say otherwise.

No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can’t go back. And even if you could, you would probably be stuck in a different kind of hell. Groundhog Day and all.

Most people reminisce about the past. Everything was better, brighter, bigger, cheaper. The data says otherwise, as Hans Rosling showed so beautifully. But feelings don’t care about data.

Some things were different, no doubt. The nominal price of a Hamburger was cheaper, no doubt. And yes, people weren’t morbidly obese, or killing themselves with opioids, or horribly addicted to small screens in their pocket, and so on. See, now I’m doing it. Reminiscing about the past.

I still haven’t figured out what to do about days like these. Days when everything sucks. Days so dark that the brightness of yesterday seems borderline unrealistic. Days that make you fantasize about skipping today and tomorrow too.

A long walk does the trick, but on some days, even walking seems like an impossible task. Focusing on the present does the trick too, but some days do not allow for focus or presence. Hugs from loved ones do the trick too, but it’s impossible to properly receive them if you are busy hating yourself. So I guess self-love is the first step. After forgiveness. And after letting go of yesterday.

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